It’s my second to last day in Seattle, and it feels like the city is begging me to stay. The sky has finally cleared, the weather is beautiful, and there are so many events happening this weekend.
I think the Seattle area would have been paradise for me if I had arrived when I was in my late teens/early twenties. I love programming, video games, used book shops, indie comics and zines, listening to Sub Pop and K Records, and wearing hoodies with shorts.
At the same time, I’m lonely and tired. I try to study, but I can’t concentrate as well. I feel sick to my stomach, and I wonder if there’s something wrong with me, or if there’s just something off about the local food…
I didn’t start to get replies to my job applications until 6 weeks after I had finished at Microsoft. This was the same week I was set to fly back to New York for the weekend, to attend FlameCon.
All of a sudden, I had multiple phone interviews with Seattle agencies, reaching out to me to see if I was a good fit.
I had mixed feelings, because I had been working really hard and burn out was finally settling in. I didn’t want to get my hopes too high, either.
Then, the Monday after I came back to Washington State, I got word that my partner was being re-upped for her summer internship at the mayor’s office in Manhattan. That really fixed it in my mind: I couldn’t go on like this on. We’d been apart for so long, and I had no idea if anything would pan out with these agencies, or if or when I would hear from any of the other places I had been applying to.
Meanwhile, my partner was embarking on a wonderful career in a city filled with my family and friends. Why on Earth shouldn’t I join her?
If I could come back to Seattle with my chosen family and a permanent job, I’d jump at the chance. It’s just not the right time, now.
My partner misses me. My friends miss me. Nothing that I do here feels as meaningful as seeing them again.